Personal Blog – What coronavirus taught me

Viktoria Bryan

Viktoria Bryan

Yesterday was the first time I saw my best friend in almost a month’s time.

We normally meet every week and spend evenings together catching up. However it has been a long time and I felt this sadness coming over me.

I have to admit I am very strong mentally and years of training as a hypnotherapist and yoga teacher allowed me to talk to my mind in a positive and constructive manner which has been an enormous help coping with isolation and panic around me.

So I had this idea and time to drive over to her house and surprise her for Easter. I have prepared some snacks and a little rabbit flower for her which I knew she will love.

So on the drive to her house  all of a sudden, it was hard to fight back the tears. I was not sure why I was tearing up. I even got surprised at myself. What is wrong?

Was it that, out of the blue, it hit me that we have not seen each other and I have not been able to hug her?

Or was it that after weeks I was in a car and driving to her house felt like a new adventure making me feel nervous and excited in the same time?

Then I got to her home, I called her and asked her to come to her gate. Couple of minutes later she was there and I could not believe that there was a gate between us and I could not hug her. It truly was painful to know you are so close yet so far from someone you love so very much.

I hung her little present on her gate and she was just simply so happy to see me. It was that moment when it hit me how much I missed her. Standing there with my mask on and both of us keeping the required distance between us.

We used to take granted all those times when you hang out with your friends and loved ones, maybe you were even checking social media while you were together before…

But now I had all my attention on her, I was so present and no way I was willing to waste another second not cherishing this moment.

It was beautiful talking to her even for 30 mins over the gate and seeing her. It really gave me the boost to keep on focusing sharing my love and checking on people I have not been in touch with in some time. I am now much more present and determined.

Human connection is required to our survival and for the first time I understood what this meant, truly.

When we talk about community, friendship and connectedness, there is over flowing love and warmth that keep us going because alone, it is a very lonely world.

So when I left her house and got into the car, tears again appeared in the end of my eye…but this time I knew they were tears of release and happiness.

It was okey to let it go, I do not need to be strong for everyone and I could allow myself to feel this.

Just a simple 30 mins with my best friend gave me the power to tackle another week, or weeks, or maybe even longer to keep on working, fighting and making sure I am giving myself that love and kindness that we all deserve.

Moving on I am now thankful and grateful for all the memories we made, looking back at all photos and I promised myself to cherish every moment we are in.

To stay present because even if it sounds like a cliché, all we have is, well, now.

So thank you, thank you #rona for teaching me.

If you are struggling, just breathe and allow yourself to feel whatever it is you are feeling.

It is completely fine to feel this way or that way.  Maybe this time there is no silver lining? And that is okey too. It is fine to feel happy and also not to feel happy.  

What has the virus taught you so now you are wiser, stronger and more loving towards life and yourself? 

In those dark moments, take time to breathe in all that learning and know, this phase shall pass too but the learnings you can take from it in order to grow into the person you truly want to become will stay with you… 


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